Tuesday, 15 June 2010

The laziest example of blogging ever...

Hanna's answers would imply that she stole this from me...but I don't remember doing it, so I'm stealing it from her...

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
The taps.

2. What colour is your favorite hoodie?
I own but one hoodie, and it is grey. I prefer to call it a hooded sweatshirt.

3. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Irritated. Television and hair-related concerns dominate.

4. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
My nails. I love doing shows/shoots, because it's the only time I get to wear nail polish, being as how whenever I try to apply it myself I end up painting my knuckles. I have shiny, shiny pillarbox red nails today and I love them.

5. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
I really cannot remember *any* dreams I've had recently at all, which is annoying. A few years ago I dreamt I was locked in physical combat with a 30 foot Barbie doll.

6. What are you craving right now?
A cup of tea. I may go fetch one momentarily.

7. Are you emotional?
I'm tempted to reply "If the day came when I felt a natural emotion, I'd get such a shock I'd probably jump in the ocean", but I find myself mired in misery increasingly and alarmingly frequently, so that's probably not strictly true.

8. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I may have done, I don't recall. I generally have better things to do with my time. Like fill in questionnaires on Facebook.

9. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Lick it, I'm not a monster.

10. Do you like your hair?
I have a troubled relationship with my hair. It changes far too often for me to make any definitive decisions on how fond I am of it (see status update).

11. Do you like yourself?
I can't comment on the whole concept of self-hood, too vast. There are aspects of myself I truly, genuinely despise, too many to list; the rest I tolerate. I'm not sure there are any I actually like. except my nails. They're pretty.

12. What are you listening to right now?
The voice track of a documentary about the Yorkshire Ripper. Specifically I am only listening, because my Channel 5 reception amounts to black and white fuzz accompanied by a disembodied voice. I essentially have Channel 5 radio.

13. Would you go sky diving?
I had the option on Topdeck. I ran very far and very fast in the opposite direction of the sign-up sheet. I petted huskies and had a snowball fight instead; I think I made the right choice.

14. Have you ever met a celebrity?
The Manics, Nightmare of You (I don't care if you haven't heard of them) Greg from Delays, Wayne from Boy Cried Wolf (nicest man EVER), The Rakes (sort of, I was in their video and stood at the back and listened while other people spoke to them between takes, as I was far too scared. Jamie laughed at my joke though :D), Dirty Pretty Things, Didz Hammond (also lovely. And moustachioed) probably lots of other band people I can't remember, Chris de Burgh (involuntarily), Alan Rusbridger (editor of the Guardian. He's AWESOME).

15. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
I am a Manics fan. There are many sparkly things in the room I am in. One of them being my face. I wore glitter a week ago and every time I wash, it just moves the glitter to a different part of my face.

16. How many countries have you visited?
Not nearly enough, in too concentrated an area. Off the top of my head: France, Switzerland, Italy, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary, Czech Republic, Poland, Germany, The Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Vatican City (yes, it counts), Ireland. Furthest afield: America; Nebraska, to be precise.

17. Have you made a prank phone call?
Not exactly prank, but I have rung, not spoken, and hung up. It's childish but it makes me feel happy to mildly annoy those who cross me.

18. Ever been on a train?
I'm actually dumbfounded by this question. Of *course* I've been on a train. No one is going to say no to this question, surely, as foetuses can't type.

19. Do you have a cell-phone?
I have a mobile phone and a dislike of American English.

20. Do you use chap stick?
I use Carmex lip balm. It smells of wax and burns in a good way.

21. Do you own a gun?
No. I own a grenade though.

22. Can you use chop sticks?
I wouldn't starve, but it doesn't look particularly graceful.

23. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Me, myself and I. It'll be like a very small party, except with tears and recriminations instead of streamers.

24. Are you too forgiving?
Yes and no. I forgive people without arguing nine times out of ten as I don't like confrontation, but I continue to hold grudges of varying viciousness for years afterwards.

25. Ever been in love?
"And you can tell I have never really loved/You can tell by the way I sleep all day"

26. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
Echoing Hanna's sentiments, I refuse to rank my friends in order of preference, but I do categorise them into easy to manage groups, these being Manics fans, noSWeaters, Topdeckers, Femis, Models and Assorted Others (don't feel bad, Assorted Others, I love you all the same).

27. Ever have cream puffs?
I've had Jacobs Lemon Puffs. Oh damn, now I want some. But they're £2.50 a pack. Must. Resist.

28. Last time you cried?
I actually don't remember. It's like with alcohol, you build up a tolerance if you do it enough.

29. What was the last question you asked?
"Who do I see about being paid?" It's vulgar to talk about money, but I don't give my time for free.

30. Favorite time of the year?
January 1st. Every year, without fail, on January 1st I am filled with a bright-eyed optimism about how brilliant this year is going to be, even though every year, without fail, I realise by February that absolutely nothing is going to change and it's going to be as rubbish as every year that preceded it. And people call me a pessimist.

31. Do you have any tattoos?
No, one planned once I'm across the Channel.

32. Are you sarcastic?
Are you taking the piss?

33. Ever walked into a wall?
Yes. My first haircut for Sassoon involved me not being able to see out of one eye for the best part of a year, and it takes a while for your depth perception to adjust itself.

34. Favorite colour?
Gold, purple, leopardprint, glitter.

35. Have you ever slapped someone?
Not that I recall, though I've had worse done to me.

36. Is your hair curly?
No, Boo.

37. What was the last CD you bought?
Errrrrrrrrrm, Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now!, Fixin' The Charts, I think. I've grown lazy of late and taken to downloading things, because I am a product of the nineties and need instant gratification.

38. Do looks matter?
If they didn't, I like to think I wouldn't be single. Oh no, wait, I have an abhorrent personality. Pass.

39. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I did once, it did not end well. I have now instituted a "Cheat and you will be dead before you hit the ground" rule.

40. Do you like your life right now?
Does the Fail like immigrants?

41. Can you handle the truth?
no. For the love of Cod, LIE TO ME.

42. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Ha, it's closer to 30. I don't believe in love at first sight, but I believe in, and frequently engage in hate, or at least extreme dislike on sight.

43. How often do you talk on the phone?
Excluding at work, probably once every other day. My friends all fear their telephones. Do you all sleep with an axe under your pillow in case your mobile tries to strangle you during the night?

44. What are you wearing?
Jeggings (yes, you will have to prise them from my cold, dead legs), a grey vest, black braces. I'm really into braces at the moment. I got them from a vintage shop in Covent Garden years ago. I didn't wear them for ages because they remind me of an ex I'd rather forget, but fuck it, I look better in them than he ever did.

45. What's your favourite animal?

46. Where was your default picture taken at?
A pub on Upper Street, at Robin's birthday drinks.

47. Can you hula hoop?
A little.

48. Do you have a job?
Being sexy is a full-time occupation. Boo-yah. I also find time to shuffle papers for the government, alongside being paid for and in hair cuts, and occasionally allowing people to take pictures of me in return for money.

49. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yes, it was quite high, I don;t recall how I even reached.

50. Turns-offs?
I'm a namist. I could never love a man named Andy.

51. Do you think the opposite sex finds you attractive?
Well not the whole of it, but I'm like catnip to the other 50s, apparently. Old man nip, if you will.

52. What is best about the opposite sex?
Balls. I like balls. So much fun to play with. I also like foreskins, they're like jumpers for genitals.

53. What is worst about the opposite sex?
Their inability to acknowledge my existence.

54. Do you believe you should be in love to have sex?
I used to. Then I realised I didn't want to die a virgin. And that sex is fun, occasionally.

55. How would you like to die?
I'd like to take slimming pills until I starved to death, it would be quick, and ironic. I'm fairly sure I could pass it off as modern art.

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