Thursday, 27 May 2010

All about me....

Self absorbed as I am, I have decided to dole out some nuggets of delicious information about yours truly for you to file away and use as potential blackmail material. Yeah, I'm bored, and a quiz just wont cover it.

* I always look for the pets in "Missing Dog/Cat" posters and am always sad when I don't find them.

* I don't get one night stands - what if you accidentally slept with someone who voted Tory?

* Most people like lip balms with sweet scents/flavours, I like the ones that smell like medicine and make your lips burn slightly - possibly because I'm a masochist, possibly because that makes it feel like it's working. I'm using Carmex at the minute, it stings, it's lovely.

* I think there is a fine line between "edgy comedian" and "complete cunt" and that Russell Brand has gone so far over it that the line is merely a dot on the horizon to him.

* I judge people on what newspaper they read. Guardian = excellent, Independent = fine, but I will ask what interest you find in a paper that is SO boringly self-righteous all the time, and what you thought of them having Kate Moss black up for a feature on third world debt the other year, The Times = tolerable, but we'll be friends, never lovers, The Telegraph = we might chat in passing, but friendship is unlikely, The Express = you don't have friends outside of the asylum anyway, The Daily Mail = I would stab you if I thought for a second I could get away with it, The Sun = If you like tits so much, buy Playboy, I'd have more respect for you, The Mirror = Is the best of the bunch so far as trashy tabloids go, but it's nothing to brag about, The Star/Daily Sport = I refuse to acknowledge your existence, no newspaper = I'm wary of you. What's your game?

* Relatedly, I don't get the recent trend for having famous models black up. Did the fashion world not get the memo that everyone else digested and mentally filed under "Probably a good idea to quit doing that" about 40 years ago? Do the models never say to the make-up artist, photographer, their agent "Um, are you certain this is wise"?

* Also relatedly, I have zero natural respect for people who read the sports pages first. No matter how big the game last night was, it is not more important than the *actual news*. Have some perspective!

* I thought I had way more of these, but I've forgotten them all.

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